An Ethical Formula Company

I have often wondered what an ethical formula company would look like. How would they advertise? What would they sell? What would they recommend?

So I’ve decided to write the FAQ for an ethical formula company. I have called it Unicorn Tots Formula Company. Add what you like in the comments.

What is the best start a baby can have?
Unicorn Tots recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of your child’s life. We also recommend continued breastfeeding for at least the first two years of your child’s life.

I can’t/don’t want to breastfeed, what can I do?
If you cannot breastfeed, have low supply, or do not want to breastfeed, you can get breast milk from a milk bank. [details of milk bank]

I have low supply, should I supplement with solids or Unicorn Tots formula?
Solids should not be introduced until your child is six months old, and then only in small amounts. If you are having a problem with supply, contact a Lactation Consultant at [details].

Can I get a sample of Unicorn Tots formula for someone else?
We don’t give out formula samples, and would not recommend giving samples to new parents.

What other things would an ethical formula company do? Throw out your ideas!

– Pharaoh Signing Off

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One response to “An Ethical Formula Company

  1. My Q&A is kinda boring:Q: "Is your formula better than all the other infant formulas out there?"A: "No. All infant formulas on the market meet Australian standards."Q: "But the breastfeeding nurse at the hospital gave me some of your brochures about some wizzbang ingredients in your formula that made it just like breastmilk!"A: "No, that must have been some other formula company."Q: "Can I get a discount voucher for your formula? Two for one, or something?"A: "No."Q: "How about freebies through my GP?"A: "No, we don't do those either."Q: "Can't I find some little samples to get me started, at your baby expo table or something?"A: "We don't do any baby expos."Q: "My baby is on your formula already, but is having stomach problems. Should I stick with it, or change to some other brand?"A: "We make no recommendations, and there is no particular reason to stick with only one brand of formula. If relactation could be an option for you, you can get assistance from your local board-certified lactation consultant."Q: "Would you put me on your mailing list?"A: "No."Q: "Don't you have one of those cutesy little mailings that tells me about my baby's development and nutritional needs?"A: "No."Q: "When should I start my baby on your toddler milk?"A: "You shouldn't, and we don't make any such thing."Q: "Are you sure? Doesn't it make toddlers smarter?"A: "No."Q: "What about that hungry baby formula? I thought I'd give one bottle before bed."A: "There's no such thing. And research shows that breastfeeding mothers actually get more sleep, on average, than formula feeding mothers."Q: "Why aren't there cute little teddy bears and baby birdies on your cans? They look so plain!"A: "Yes, yes they do."Q: "How do I wean my baby onto your formula? Give me a schedule!"A: "No, we don't do that."Q: "I'm a blogger, will you give me swag for reviews?"A: "No."Q: "How about paying me for some ads in my sidebar, then?"A: "No."

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